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Just say NO!

Dear Caroline,

This may not seem like a huge problem, but it starting to get me a reputation! I find it really difficult to say no to a man and end up having sex with any body I get pretty close to when I am out. In just a week I have slept with three different people and now everyone knows. I am scared that pretty soon (if not already) I will be getting a very bad name for myself and lose all my dignity. Im sure men will just see me as an easy target. What can I do to stop this getting out of hand?


Hello Laura

You've really started helping yourself by realizing what your doing and what a mess its making of your self respect am I right?

It's a problem and you have to understand that yes you can be attracted to all sorts of men when your out and about, your only human, your a woman!! But that doesn't mean you've got to sleep with them all!!! you don't say what age you are so I ll say your in your early twenties, fun loving and like a good time with your friends, likes a drink, likes a laugh etc..... well that's great!! But you have to take a long look at yourself, write down all the things you like about yourself, i.e. looks, relationships, family friends etc.

Write down a plan for say your next five years where do you want to be, what do youwnat to do for a living, kids? husband maybe nice little house with a fence perhaps??? or do you want to be alone, used up, worn out, left over because you've ben there, done that, had this had that, there's nothing left to do? Look hard at yourself, learn to like yourself warts and all!!! stop getting too close to men treat them equal and not like they should be bonking you!

It's a bad circle to get into and it wont make you popular! As you've found out, be true to yourself and have some kind of self control over your urges...... men like women who are shy and coy and mysterious and they certainly won't respect any one who's had more men that hot dinners! You don't want that don't you? Not to mention the names that other women are calling you behind your back!!!

SO, get educated by what you've done in the past, turn it around, and stop thinking bonking with any body will make you popular cos it just wont!! get some self control, and you'll respect yourself even more in the years to come and then when you have kids you can forewarn the yourself and pass on your words of wisdom to them stop them from making a fool of themselves. I'ts up to you now...