I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED
I've been engaged to my boyfriend for 6 months now and he really wants us to get married this summer, I am 20 and he is 22. The problem is I'm studying for law degree and he works as a builder for his uncles firm.
When we met I really did love him and after 1 year we got engaged. Now I feel we are too young to get into financial responsibilities, a mortgage, bills, car bills, food bills etc (I still sponge from my parents!)
The thought of all this makes me have panic attacks. Knowing that my mum and dad used to argue constantly about money. How can I break it to him that I feel we should wait another 5 years 'til I have a good job with money coming in and he may be made a partner in his uncles firm, we'll still be in our twenties and a little bit wiser.
I look forward to hearing your reply to my problem.
Sorry Name withheld for confidentiality reasons. I will check the web site to see my reply.
I will try to be as honest as I can.
If you have been saving up from the time you got engaged and have a little money put by, probably not enough to buy a new house. Keep saving.
have a quiet moment with your boyfriend and have your money details present. Explain to him how much money is in your kitty and both sit down and plan your finances.
1. what it would cost per month on a mortgage
2. save £20 per month for gas
3. save another £20 per month for electricity bill
4. water rates £30
5. poll tax £60
6. Food bills £200 per month
7. clothing allowance
Yes - I know this looks impossible to do and can make you think again but if you explain to him what's required and work out your salaries if you are both receiving salaries and be realistic.
If you both love each other then this will stand the test of time and just think how much better off you'll both be in the future years.You'll still both be under thirty and be achievers, and boy will that boost your love for each other and you'll find you have more respect for each other too.
Hope this is of help to you, and remember use your instincts too, be honest from the start and that will make him see you're thinking about your future together and you have sincere commitment to him.