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Flashes parts of her anatomy!

Hello Caroline,

Generally things are fine and I think I'm quite a nice person. I don't find it hard to meet people - I mean I'm friendly, although I'd say I'm difficult to get to know well.i'm genuine and thoughtful etc I have a lovely fiance and I'm a really lucky person-- nice family etc.But (!) my fiance moved to the Middle East last July and I followed him in Sept. At first I was home sick but I think I've settled in quite well since then getting a job and getting involved in art and sports activities.

The problem is its really difficult to make female friends here--most people have families and are busy with their own lives and I can't seem to meet anyone I really take to as I have with close friends at home. My fiance says I'm not making an effort- but sometimes its really hard

Also I feel like I've lost my independence as You need a car to get around here and I don't feel the buses are safe. This means I'm confined to the house quite a lot. Taxis are expensive and we're trying to save. My fiance gets out to clubs like badminton, running etc which is fine as I know he needs time to himself to do things. Consequently, when we go to parties (like last night for example) everyone knows him and he's the life and soul of the party and I feel like his boring girlfriend that sits in the corner sulking

Some of these friends are female but are friends already and I feel really out of things. I'm not sure I even want to get to know one girl in particular who is always getting very drunk and all touchy and flirty with everyone including my partner. he doesn't respond, I know he loves me but I get so jealous and grumpy and it makes things worse. Every one else thinks she is just having a laugh including my fiance, she 's got a boyfriend but flashes parts of her anatomy at other men when she's drunk. She tries to be friendly to me but in a false way and never really takes the trouble to speak to me, just the men. I'm no angel and have done some wild things but now my relationship is really important to me and my jealosy annoys my partner and then makes me feel guilty for ruining the night

I try not to make a scene so end up in a corner festering and I'm sure everyone thinks I'm miserable. My partner does make time for me and he's good to me so I feel annoyed at myself for being like this. I don't want this part of my personality to damage my relationship and I want to know how to control it. Also I'm usually so understanding about other people and why they do things, why can't I ignore this girl or like her as others do? I don't usually detest people so instantly- I thought I was quite tolerant.I've talked to her when she's sober and been polite perhaps I envy her independence and popularity, something I don't have at the moment

I feel i should have both as i'm a nice person and don't need to flash my bits to gain it, but it 's not happening. I feel that if my partner wasn't here no-one would give a toss about me.

Please sort me out soon!!

Thanks for your time.



Dear Victoria,

Firstly, this girl you talk about, (I use the name girl, as no real Woman would behave in such a manner). There is no reason to envy, or feel jealous for someone who is lacking in self respect, self worth, and generally behaves like an undersexed animal! This girl should be writing to me for advice, not you!!! drop some hints to her, give her my e- mail address, she needs help!!

You are obviously feeling a little alienated in your new surroundings it's only natural. You don't really know anyone yet, give it time things don't happen over night, you've only been there a few months. Relax and try to take up some form of yoga or exercise to stimulate your adrenaline and alertness, you'll find it gives you a more confident outlook.

Find a hobby, painting, writing, We are always looking for short stories and to pop on the site, (We don't charge or pay, but it can be quite satisfying to see your name in print)

You've certainly got a lot to feel good about! You've a good fiancé, who's working! (sometimes that's hard to find!). It sounds like he's doing everything he can to provide a good lifestyle and income for you both. He really needs to fit in with his work associates, colleagues etc, and that's why he's the life and soul of the party the one who's making all the contacts and friends, the one who's not sitting in the corner feeling sorry for themselves!

The next time you are invited to a party, dinner, social event, that involves meeting and talking to people you don't really know, or have anything in common with, Tell your partner before you get there. which will diminish any embarrassing arguments between you during and after the party! Tell him you want his company too, that you feel safe around him, and that you love him. and that if it means that you are stuck by his side throughout the night so be it! Listen to his conversations laugh at his jokes, it sounds like a lot of hard work on your part I know, but it's the only way you'll make progress in this situation. Just give it a try. Just make sure you're stood around where there are a lot of people, you don't have to say anything if you don't feel like it, just make it look like your having a good time too, without drawing too much attention to yourself ( i.e. acting like a loose floozy desperate for attention from men because your not confidant enough to be yourself! OOPS! That replies for your "friend"!!) just relax, and try to smile, it really does work!

Oh by the way, You're the one who should give a toss about yourself, you've a lot going for you, more than most women have, feel good, look good, and hopefully the rest will follow. May be even a part time job over there, there's no time like the present, so start searching!

let me know how you get on,

Lots of luck, you can do it.