AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR!!
HI
This problem is a bit out of the ordinary. You see I'm 21 years old, I know most of your problem letters are from teenagers, but this I can't really talk to anyone about. (only a few!)
I have been with my boyfriend Robert for just over a year. I'm his first girlfriend, and although I love him to bits, I don't think that he treats me right! Examples, he doesn't like my cat, she was only a few months old when he first met her and since then he has thrown her out of windows, put her down the toilet and flushed the chain, thrown her up and down the stairs, even at the wall so hard she pooed herself! (sorry to be vulgar!) If we have an argument, or even something like I don't hear what he says he's like 'shut up you stupid b****'.
He's very rude to me, yet on the other hand he can cry when he's been too nasty, and says that he's reallysorry. But this is when he's being horrible, which he isn't all the time. I do love him very much, but feel drained asvery insecure.
Robert has got a sister called Sonia, now she has been with her boyfriend for 4 years, he doesn't treat her exceptionally well either, but she lets him walk all over her. This boyfriend (Rick) has told me that he fancies me (we had a kiss in a nightclub) and I am supposed to be meeting up with him on Thursday just to talk things through. Now, I do really like him too, but am I just playing with fire too much?
He has said that he wants to go out with me, and I said that even if that were to happen that it couldn't for ages anyway. We would both have to split up with our respective partners and leave it for a few months at least before we got together. If we could do this, do you think it would be advisable?
I feel so horrible for feeling like this, but you can't stop feelings!
Please try and help
C.
Dear C,
My page is for anyone who wants a little bit of help, or just for someone to share a problem with.
It's obvious to me that your present boyfriend Robert is angry and or upset about something (is he drinking?). His actions and aggressive behaviour are very clear signs that something's up! It could be anything from work related problems to just plain old stress!!! People who tend to act aggressive and vicious even attacking others or being cruel to animals have a slight problem with some area of their lives.
You really need to talk to him about this and get him to confide in you. You say you love him, well it's all part and parcel of love, helping each other out in times of trouble, yours or theirs. try to find out the underlying reason for his behaviour, but don't put your self at risk.
Try going to the library together or alone and do some research, looking for self help group session that you can both attend, and benefit from, or go along to the local Doctors surgery book an appointment and try and get him some advice/information or assistance that may help him out. Remember it's private and confidential and no one else will know.
OR
You could both join a gym and he can work out his aggression there let off some steam, and get de stressed!!
Try and change your social gatherings to different locations and people, and stay clear of Your boyfriends sisters boyfriend! (yes it sounds very complicated saying it like that!) This would spell Trouble.
Keep it platonic, it can be done!!! stick with your boyfriend if you feel it's going to pull through and work out. Nobody said life was easy BUT we all have a choice how we live it!!
Lots of luck,
Regards
Caroline.