Strength or Courage!
Dear Caroloine,
I am a 27 year old male who has suffered from depression for 11 years. The main reason for my depression is that I have never had a girlfriend or been on a date and am still a virgin;the mental anguish of being lonely and seeing young couples together has tormented me.I had a promising career in electronics, but dropped out of a course because of my problem. Everywhere I look there seems to be issues involving relationships, for someone who has never had one I find it painful; it seems like an exclusive club that I was never allowed to join.I try to keep positive, but negative thoughts arise and impede me.When I see young couples together I get jealous and sad, and in turn go back to bed with depression (somtimes confined to my bed for long periods). I do not have any friends (the friends I did have went years ago when I got depressed). Other males all have females, but no female has ever asked me out, this makes me hurt and incredibly unwanted. I feel that I have been written out of the pages` of mandkind.I do not have the strength or courage to ask a girl out.To make things worse my birthday is on Valintines` day which reminds me of being alone.No female has noticed me, it is like I never existed.
I live alone with my mother, as my farther passed away in 1988.The majourity of my life has been sleeping, to try and get away from my problem.When I am in the presence of a young female or females, I look away from them and avoid them, even those who serve me in a shop, this is a combination of shyness and to a lesser degree my contempt and anger towards them. I hate myself and my appearance ( since no female has notice me this must be a factor).I am of mixed decent, my mother is English-Irish and my farther was Burmese-Dutch/Indian.My heart has always been set on a nice english female, but I feel my Asian appearance may be somewhat off-putting to them.
I wont to go back to electronics/networking and to my studies and follow my dream as a network engineer (as my farther was before me).I turn to the bible in times of comfort, it offers hope when I am very down.This is the first time I have had the courage to talk about this problem (I never even told the psychiatrists about it).
What can I do?
Yours Truly
Jason
Hi Jason,
You are a worthy person in all senses, you're a unique person as we all are. I'm quite sure there's someone out there just for you, you're young and your soul mate will find you and you her. It's possible she's still searching and well its apparent so are you.
Please don't be despaired, you're worthy of love and worthy of someone loving you when the right time comes . I'm sure of it. Don't be locked away from the world, don't look down at your feet. Stand upright and face the days with the thought that you are somebody, you have a future and a career for you, do these things for yourself your ego and build up your self esteem. I know you can do it.
Many people go through depression it cant be helped you feel lost and lonely angry and bitter jealous and contempt, because you don't have what others do! Well let me tell you relationships can be fraught with problems dilemmas and heartache and it seems that you have been spared this contact for a reason a purpose in your life, Why not join the local church and make friends there do something for the church and the community.
We all have a purpose in our life here on this planet and you do too, maybe you haven't realize it yet but it will come do your course in Electronics and be happy do it for you and no on else, like yourself love yourself and be good to yourself smile at others as you walk by and feel how good it feels if they respond great if not they're not worth bothering with its that simple. get out there and dazzle your self.
If your depression isn't getting any better then a visit to your Gp is worth a try maybe he could offer help some way beneficial to you? If not tried and trusted remedy of Vitamins Sanatogen Gold always does the trick for me when I'm feeling down, And yes we all get depressed sometimes were not programmed like robots to be perfect and happy all the time. So join the club your normal after all. Be positive and take steps to a better life for you and seethe girls take an interest.
Good Luck
regards
Caroline