Woman Hater
Dear Caroline,
I am a nineteen year old straight male and have a problem with women. I am still a virgin and have only had a couple of relationships with girls; one was with a girl a year younger, while the other was with a woman twenty years my senior. Both of these relationships ended in failure and have started to colour the way I see other women. In short, I am starting to become a real woman hater. I find that I can't talk to women and have no interest in what they have to say.
If I'm out with friends and a group of girls show up I become very sullen and moody; girls have made jokes about it before in a light hearted way calling me 'Mr Moody' or 'miserable bloke'. It's got to a point that even if I see an attractive woman on the street I find that I start to feel a bit revolted, sometimes I even feel sick. People often say that I'm quite attractive and I get the odd look from girls, but beyond their physicality I have no real interest in women, I have no women friends, most of the girls my age are too dumb, they only want to go out with men who can drive or are rich. Sometimes I feel very violent towards women because I think that that is all they want, to be treated badly.
My hatred of women is starting to affect my friendships with other men because they want to be around girls all the time, it is also making me feel very lonely and inept. Why do yout hink I feel this way, and what can I do to make it better?
Yours sincerely
R
Dear R
I'm sorry that you are feeling this way, it seems to me that you are unfortunate enough to be meeting with the wrong type of women, probably high achievers and cocky with it! there are some women out there that are manipulators, gold diggers and down right self obsessed!!!!
It sounds to me like these are probably the women you are around and mixing with. And please don't hate all women not all women are like that of you past relationships, try and understand the reasons that your relationships failed and move on and stop feeling bitter, although you're still hurting time will heal it just try not to think about it too much. You're young, healthy, you have a job, and you're good looking. that's a lot to be happy about, no matter what happened in your past. And I can tell you women don't like to be hurt physically or emotionally just like a man, so try and control your anger and go to counselling anger management See your GP, or look up in the local yellow pages for private therapy. Also remember like you, if a woman has had a bad experience with a partner or lover etc. then they will act defensive and cocky so as not to have their feelings hurt either in public or alone . Women and men are the same when it comes down to intimate relationships and what they want to feel about them really.
Some don't want long serious relationships, some just want to have some fun! a laugh or a giggle (apparently its hip or something !!!) some flirting and that's it really they are happy. although its tough on you at the moment and you feel like they are picking on you, I think as you are attractive and are moody they cant think of anything else to say to get a response out of you! and get some of your attention!! so they are teasing you a little trying to make a connection with you. you must have realized this by now.
Play them at their own game and tease them back without being too rude, crack a few jokes etc., or better still compliment one of them in front of the others and watch out for green eyes appearing!!! then you'll see what happens, they'll start being nice to you for compliments themselves and you'll find you've got a bit of a stampede on your hands!!!(theyll be competing with one another to get your compliments just you see). And see how the situation changes.
Please don't judge every woman with your past experiences, not all women are tough cookies you know, perhaps if you stop seeing them as women and see them as friends, acquaintances, colleagues and comrades, and perhaps one day you will meet the girl of your dreams, just walking down the corridor or even at your therapy classes.
If you need to talk again please contact me again and I will see if I can put you in touch with a counsellor to help you more.
R
Caroline