My teenage years were over!
Hi Caroline, my names Jamie. I'm 19 years old and have been 'mentally impotent' since the age of 15. By mentally i mean i can get an erection on my own, but once someone else (male or female) is about, i just cant. I'll try to tell you how this problem came about. My first memory of sex was with my girlfriend at the age of 14. All her and my friends were all going on about sex and if we had 'done it' yet. Well one day my parents went out and we had all ready been through all the foreplay there was, we decided to have sex. Well i wasn't sure exactly what to do. And for some reason i can't remember, i didn't use a condom, which now seems extremely stupid. After some foreplay i got into position and did my thing. Well after some wiggling about, i orgasmed while i was still inside her. It was all over in a minute or two. After it was all over i felt bad about what i'd done but she was over the moon so i didn't think anything else of it. Two weeks or so down the line we split up over one reason or another.
She was very hurt and upset. And soon after came up and told me she was pregnant. My teenage years were over. I think from that day on, i've grew up a hell of a lot. I said that i would leave school and get a job and support her and she was all happy again. A month later she moved (not sure where) and i was told by her sister that she wasn't pregnant and that she had lied to get me back. I cared on at school went to collage, and had a semi normal life. After she left i never saw her since. I'm not sure if she does have a kid or not. But every relationship i've had since then has always gone wrong because of my problem. My girlfriends say it's not a problem in there eyes, but it is. And it's because of it we always split up.
Over the years i have become less confident with women and any intressed i get from them i ignore and turn away or even lie. But i'm not sure what my problem is anymore. I think i'm just scared of being hurt again. I don't know, that's why i'm writing to you. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Any help would be great.
Thanks again
Jamie
Hi Jamie,
Life is never easy for any of us, and occasionally the hand of fate slaps us right in the face full whack just when we think things are going well. Your previous relationship with this girl has been a very trying time for you emotionally yes, and tiring and draining and exhausted your thoughts. Although Im quite inspired that you were about to give up your education etc... and try and get your self a job knowing that you were about to become a Father. very Inspirational jamie, especially at your age! Well done lad. A credit to yourself.
And because you've been hurt and used and humiliated you have incidentally picked yourself up and got right back on with your life, schooling and going back out with girls again, again another credit to you! Forming that stable long-lasting relationship has put you if though hasn't it, and you don't want to let yourself be in that awful position again, your wary and careful now (which isn't a bad thing) you cant afford to let another girl hurt you gain, therefore you don't have a problem as such its just that your finding it hard to trust them again, don't you? It will take time but you will find time to trust again and it will be soon.Im quite sure of that, you're level headed, and very switched on, so time will heal, and its your turn to play the games and your turn to set your rules now at your pace, so don't worry about getting too close too soon, be friends first and let it happen slowly, and remember use a condom, or make sure that she's on the pill! and you wont ruin your or almost ruin your future too soon again. Take it easy and keep playing it cool its your time and your life so don't rush anything and you cant go wrong!
Regards
Caroline