Nothing has changed!
Hello Caroline,
hope you can help.
I am a 28-year-old man and my wife is 27. I have been married now for 3 years but have been in the relationship with my wife for around 12 years, so we know each other very well. We have never had a very active sex life in all of the time that I have known my wife, witch has always been a problem for me and caused lots of arguments. Lately we have discussed it in quite a bit of detail and got every thing out in the open, which was fantastic, and there were no arguments. But at the end of the day nothing has changed. My wife needs very little physical contact to get by, where as I it seems need a little more.
I have never tried to create an issue about it for fear of things getting worse, but I feel so low at times. I love my wife very much but feel that if the physical/sexual aspect of our lives were better then our lives would be so much happier. It is the cause of so many arguments and bad feeling between us. I realise that my wife has a lower sex drive that me but is that it? Do we just have to except it and get on with our lives? I've tried to suppress my feelings and tell myself that I just need to deal with it but it keeps coming back
We have a son now who is 17 months and I have been told that a woman becomes less sexually active after the birth of a child but in all honesty it's been the same since the day we met. Nothing has changed I really am fighting to keep my marriage afloat. What can I Do? I’m at the end of my tether.
Mac
Hi Mac the nak,
You sound too good to be true, you're wife is very lucky indeed! Most men couldn't really care less about saving their marriage when it gets to this stage but you are there for her, you want it to work and will do anything to make it happen. Im sure you can bring it back and both of you can be very happy again.
All you have to do is tell her you love her, tell her you love your son and that you want to protect and care for them both , you feel a bit left out at times and it worries you that she doesn't feel the same as what you had before. Tell her you understand that maybe having had a baby can alter things a bit, but you're determined to make your lives full and fun again.
Arrange nights out together and get a baby-sitter, go on a date with your wife, and woo her a bit give her cuddles and kisses too tell her you need that back too and could she perhaps do it a bit more you're in need of her love and need to feel loved too? its not alot to ask really and it will make you happy and needed again. Slowly but slowly Im sure things will turn back to normal and you'll probably get sick of having her cuddle you!!! But at the moment it seems like you need her reassuring and loving touch and tell her that too. Men need TLC as do most women, So give her what you want and soon enough shell be doing it without prompting!!!! Im sure of it.
All the best
Regards
Caroline