A Teacher at my School!
I am a 14 year old girl from Northern Ireland and I have a problem that to the outsider may seem very stupid and petty, but to me it is depressing me so much that I am contemplating suicide because of it. I am basically desperately and madly in love with this guy who can't love me back. The reason for this is because he is 41, married with three kids and to top all that he's a teacher at my school. I think about him 24 hours a day. He's all I think about now.
I love him so much and please don't tell me it is a passing phase or crush because it has gone on for nearly 2 years now - (and my feelings for him have just got stronger). It really hurts, and I spend every day in pain because I know I can never be with him. I have spoken to people about it but they give me no advice and just tell me to cheer up and find another guy. But I can't. He knows how I feel about him and he just tells me to get over him.
I am worried that he hates me now because I always talk to him and I think I might be really annoying him. I think this because he used to be so so nice to me and friendly and charming but now I just don't seem to get that anymore from him, its almost like he thinks I'm a waste of time. I feel so desperate that I might kill myself to stop this pain. I doubt very much if he would care if I killed myself - he would probably be glad that I was out of his life. Sorry this is long and I would really appreciate a reply.
Thanks
Hanna.
Hi Hannah,
I too had a schoolgirl crush on a gorgeous (or what I though was a gorgeous teacher at school, just at your age, I thought ~I was in love with him, and un beknown to me so were all the other girls in my class!!! You didn't want to hear me say crush but Lovey that's what it is. Your a confident young lady and you know that it cannot happen and you will not and should not have any sexual relationship with him, he knows that too by being a bit stand-offish he must think Hess giving you the wrong impression and you nay like him.
You must really think yourself lucky, yes Hannah very lucky that you have the chance to feel these kind of emotions it means that as you grow older you are very capable of having a great loving relationship with a wonderful partner just a few years away when the time is right and maybe a little nearer to your own age. It will happen, and you will meet some guy who will know that you're capable of loving him because you've had a tester of that emotion and it will encourage you and guide you to the right place and the right person at the very right time.
You are mature enough to realise that the teacher thing is infatuation and it will pass. Remember that anyone who is kind to you makes you feel good yes? Well its part of respect and and growing up, you will come into contact with lots of different types of people as you're growing up and you will have to learn to turn your experiences into positive learning corners for your future and how to deal with anything that comes your way.
I don't think you're petty or stupid far from it, but please try to put things into perspective and remember that growing up has its ups and downs and you have to deal with them that includes disappointments like this the world does not revolve around one person there's lots of people to meet and fall in love with as I said, at the right time and with the right guy.
You have so much to look forward to and to plan for your future, plan it and get you education and exams out of the way, set a goal and go for it. You're bright and good things come to those who wait.
Good luck with your schoolwork and any exams you have.
All the best
Regards
Caroline