I still love him !
Hi My name is Amanda I split with my fiance 2 months ago, we had been together 4 years and lived together for the last 6 months of that time, it was then that it all went wrong. We moved in together and I stopped showing him i cared didnt tell him i loved him, didnt cuddle or kiss him and did not treat him very well. We are in the middle of selling the house and he has decided he would like to stay friends but has always said there is no chance we will ever get back together.
Then on Monday night he asked me to go out for a drink so I went and hoped he would have seen a change in me. Weare also going out tomorrow night my dilemma is I still love him very much and he is now not saying there is no chance of getting back together but is now saying lets just see how it goes and if it happens it happens but said he does not want to build my hopes up.
I want to do this but dont know whether I should fight for him or just make a clean break as this is killing me slowly and if nothing comes of it i wil be more gutted than ever. I do still love him and if i could get rid of the hurt he is feeling maybe we could make a go of things. Your help would be greatfully appreciated.
Thanks Amanda
Hi Amanda.
Well, If you can't say to someone that you love them, you can't feel the urge to cuddle them, or kiss them, you can't stand being in the same room with them, then I expect that you can't live with them either, it's not a good basis for a relationship really.
A good relationship is one of respect, love, care, acceptance, responsibility, commitment, admiration, mutual friendship, and lust. these are all the things that a relationship shows its going to work out.
Maybe you are just feeling down at the moment, and need some space between you, if you cant find these feelings anymore then do not marry someone just so you can be married.
Go out with him and see how it goes, maybe if you regain some thing in common with him again your feelings may return its worth a try. Keep communication going, keep talking about anything, spend time eating and talking going for walks etc.... start communicating again, many couples fall down because they don't communicate any more with each other. If you've tried and it still isn't working then be grateful you haven't married yet, better to find out now and make a big mistake you cant get out of for a while, be sure you know exactly what you want from your life, marriage, career, children? single, what? write down a list of your expectation and what you want to achieve for yourself, who you want to be with , where you want to be etc.... and work from that.
If you're happy inside you'll be happy on the outside too.
Good luck
R
Caroline