He cant get the juices flowing!
Caroline,
I have been scanning your pages to see if someone else has my problem and if you have an answer but I have had no luck. I really need your help.I met my husband 3 years ago and after 8 years with the wrong man, I realised how wonderful sex could be with the right man. I had never had it so good. Now we are married and we have been living together for 5 months so he is with me every day which is great. I ought to mention we are best of friends. He never tries to make me have sex when I don't want to, he is wonderful in bed when we do and extremely giving and caring. We have sex about once a week.
For the last 2 months I have been finding sex traumatic because I cannot get aroused. I still find my husband very attractive and he is just as generous in bed, but nothing he does or I do excites me anymore. He can't get the juices flowing therefore he finds it very difficult to enter. Is this a sort of female impotence? We have tried different positions but the only one that works for me is if I am on top and my husband prefers this too.
Finally, last night when we had sex, we had the usual problems and when he was trying to enter (after over an hour of foreplay) I experienced what I could only describe as female premature ejaculation, and by that I mean I had a very small and unsatisfying orgasm whilst we were fumbling around. It was weird.
The more this happens the more despondent I feel about sex. I know this is making it worse but I don't know how to stop the rollercoaster! I also ought to mention that I have a torn piece of skin in the entrance to my vagina which is painful if touched, but he knows about it and keeps away as much as he can but it was never a problem in the early stages of our relationship as long as it became wet. I do become overly concerned about him touching it if I am not properly aroused and I have tried for the past 15 years to see a doctor about it but I cannot bring myself to do it.
Please help,
S
Hi S
It's an unusual problem, and if you have any doubts at all about the state of your private parts then you must always seek medical advice. No need to feel embarressed at all, they are doing you a favour and giving you your health, you pay your taxes, don't you? well you have the right to be seen about this problem, reconstrustion may be the answer! creams or gels may too.
If you try feeling aroused a bit by getting him to stimulate you properly and thinking of your favourite desires etc it will begin to turn you on, kiss, and touch, feel and caress and make it happen make yourself feel really good and then go for it!!!!!
Tell him you want to get aroused properly and take it easy, he will wait 'til you're OK and you can then start to enjoy your sex lives better.
Please go to your GP and get looked at, then he may be able to point you towards a gynscologist who may help you have a better outlook on help down there, if it's needed.
You may have a problem or It could be there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, so you have to get checked out, once you have the worry out of the way you can relax more and enjoy yourself
Take it slow and do what makes you feel good and relax!!!
Regards
Caroline
PS. some people dream of having an hour of foreplay!