IVF is an option!

Hi Caroline

My name is Julia and I am married. I have been married for 4 months now. My husband Alan is great...but for one thing....I have a disorder called Turners Syndrome which means basically I can't have children naturally, although IVF is an option. When I bring up the subject of children with Alan he just says no and that's that.

Alan has been married before and has a daughter, am I being selfish wanting a child of my own with Alan. I understand all we will have to go through, but don't you think if he loved me he would support me? I don't understand why he doesn't want children with me? I'm starting to think that perhaps he loved his first wife more.

Please can you help sort this one out, how can I go about bringing up the subject of children again and getting Alan to listen?

Hope you can help

Julia

Hi Julia,

Your new partner has a child, and he knows that sometimes its not really all it's cracked up to be.Im quite sure that he really loves you allot, and that he probably wants to spend quality time with just the two of you a both longer than 4 months Julia.

I know that when you cant have something you really have to have it or you'll do anything to get it, but give yourself time with Alan first and get to know each other allot better first have a marriage with him and enjoy your love and time together, cuddling, laughing and becoming close and in a togetherness environment. Im quite sure that if you do this he will come round eventually and then maybe want to have a child with you.

As you have this particular Disorder and you cant have a child yourself, what other methods were you thinking of conceiving? IVF is an option, so is adoption, there are so very many children babies and toddlers to school age children whose desperately need a Mother and Father figure to love them, as they may have come from neglected families where they've been either abused or ignored and verbally abused by their so called parents. they need you and people like you.

I'm sure that if you looked into this adoption then you could both find you could benefit, you wont have to go through labour for one! and you have the chance to rectify and bring up a child that I know you will love and respect. and they you.

So in short, leave it a while and ponder it over Spend time with Alan and be a together couple first, then think about other options of having children and maybe he may come round in time Julia.

You have a lot to give and waiting a bit longer wont be so bad will it.

Regards

Caroline