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I've had chances with girls

Dear Caroline,

I am very stuck at where to turn these days and i'm glad i found your web site and hope you can help me. I am still a virgin at 25 and often get very depressed about it, in fact I feel suicidal often but would never actually do it. I've been on and off anti- depressants for a few years but haven't had any for about 3 years. I don't want to take them again. I've had chances with girls but I'm to terrified to actually go through with full sexual intercourse. This is why I call it a phobia, i can't rationalize it.

I don't know what to do. Please help.

Colin

Hi Colin,

I'm pretty sure you're not alone on this issue, as well as women being virgins some still at 40, 50.... Then there's men who are still virgins too. So don't feel alone.

Antidepressants don't really work on this particular phobia as you call it, I cant honestly say you've not got a phobia, you're just unsure really and the right girl at the right time will happen!

Maybe not tomorrow, next week or next year, but she's out there somewhere and the right time will come for you and you wont feel anything other than pure natural emotions and feelings. You wont even think twice about what you want to do ... if you know what I mean.

So don't despair you haven't met that right someone yet, and when you do you wont have to think about it, you'll just do it. You're still what I consider young anyway when the time is right you'll know.

I'm sure that if you feel strongly about this go and see you GP who may recommend a visit to a clinics that specialize in this kind of problem if you want to call it one.

All the best

R

Caroline