He is totally different!
Hello
I don't know who else to turn to about my problems, maybe I just need a shoulder or something. I have been married with two children for nearly 15 yrs. We were forced to get married because I was pregnant. I gave up a good opportunity to go to university. He has always been very financially supportive and has provided to the best of his abilities. Unfortunately he has also had numerous affairs since we were married but I have always accepted this and stayed with him because of the kids, I come from a divorced family. He is very possessive and controlling, I literally cant go anywhere on my own without his say so, we even work together. I have never had a sexual relationship with anyone else.
About 4 or 5 months ago I met someone else. He is totally different, very loving and gentle and I never know sex could be so wonderful. He is clever and interesting and I think he loves me. We just seemed to click, it feels so right with him. I have never believed in love at first sight, but it was certainly pretty quick! However I have doubts about him, he is currently getting divorced from his wife who went off with someone else. She is doing her best to split us up, and is very controlling and manipulative. He told me that she offered to have sex with him as well as live with her new man, he says that he said no, but I don't know if I believe him. They seem to spend a lot of time together.
Another issue is that he may well be bisexual, I know he has had at least one encounter with a man. I find myself very jealous of things that are prehaps stupid For example he admitted he likes looking at pictures of models naked or scantily dressed, I was very upset, I want him to want me and no one else, how can I compete with a model? I feel inadequate.
I just love him so much, I want him for myself, I just don't want to share him Besides this is my marital problems, my husband knows about him, and our marriage is pretty strained. I have tried everything I can think of to keep us together for the sake of the kids, the last resort is having sex with him even though I dont like it, and once against my will completely. I dont think I can handle it any more, and want out. However I know how badly it would affect my kids. My lover thinks I should stay with him for them. I know if I left I couldn't go to him because he lives in his matrimonial home, and his wife would probably throw me out. She has told him she wants to go back with him if he asked her. Frankly I have never really lived alone and it is quite scary. On one hand are my kids and security, on the other is the man whom I truly love and also freedom. I dont know which to choose?
Please advice.
Hi,
The husband you have is a bit of a pig really isn't he, you knew about his affairs and he knew you'd stay for the sake of the kids!!! He's got his net over you with that! I would consider finding yourself a way out and look for accommodation away from him as a split from him if you cant bear it then out is better than feeling uncomfortable with him, you must think about it seriously.
Your lover has a great life too by all accounts (cant you find someone who hasn't got any baggage?) You really need to get your life in order first before embarking on a romantic messy involvement with a man who's ex offers sex and make your life hell too!!!! Its you who needs to be happy and those around aint doing it for you! Think about yourself first and foremost here...........
You can always find rented accommodation and he will pay for the kids upkeep you could get a part time job or stay where you are whatever you need time for yourself and rethink what you want and how you want to be happy right now and for the kids sake to make them happy you have to happy about your situation too think about it............. Kids do cope you know and wouldn't it be better in a house with love and laughter than a house with hostility and emptiness?
Regards
Good luck
Caroline